Vacation
by Bella Shia
Summary: Their parents go on a random vacation, leaving Itachi to look after Sasuke. What chaos occurs? - Obviously this is back in time. NOT INCEST. Crack. One shot -


This is your warning: much ooc-ness. But if you liked A Very Unmerry Christmas I'm hoping you like this. If you like this and haven't read A Very Unmerry Christmas I'm hoping you'll check it out. But I'm probably hoping too much.

* * *

"Wait! Where are you going?!" Itachi asked. 

"On a vacation with your father!" Itachi's mom told her son happily, suitcase in her hand.

"What?! You can't just leave!"

"Stop worrying Ita-chan." his mother told him.

Itachi's mind seamed to freeze. It went black, revolving around only one thing. _Ita-chan? _he thought in horror. Snapping back to reality, he shook his head to clear it. "But- when are you coming back?"

"Not now dear, your father's waiting for me. Bye Bye!" she told him in a sing song voice and she left, closing the door behind her.

"Uhh…" he let out, staring at the closed door. _Oh crap. _Itachi thought.

Running a hand through his dark hair, he headed down the hall to Sasuke's room where his younger brother was studying ninja technique. He knocked.

Sasuke opened the door. "Hey Nii-san."

"Mom and Dad just left for a vacation." Itachi said quickly.

Sasuke blinked. "…till when?"

"I have no idea." Itachi told him honestly.

Sasuke blinked again.

3  
2  
1...

"WHAT? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? You can't cook! You'd burn the house down! I can't cook either I'm only seven… OH MY GOSH WE'RE GUNNA STARVE-…ow…"

Itachi had slapped him across the face. "Calm down!" Itachi instructed.

Sasuke nodded, taking a deep breath and sinking into a chair. "So where did they go?"

"They didn't tell me that either." Itachi informed him. "Oh wait…" he saw a travel brochure on the chair. "Apparently, Bermuda."

"Oh okay." Sasuke said calmly. "Wait…THEY'RE GOING TO BERMUDA?!" He spun around in the chair to face Itachi so fast it toppled forward. Kneeling on the back of the chair, the part you usually rest your back against, he looked up at Itachi with wide eyes. "BUT THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE! THEY'LL NEVER COME BACK! WE'LL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN! THEY'LL BE LOST FOREVER!"

Itachi slapped Sasuke again. "Snap out of it! Besides, who cares if they don't come back? I'd like that."

Sasuke stared. "You didn't mean that Itachi, did you…?"

"Of course I didn't Sasuke, I was just joking!"Itachi responded a little to quickly.

"You…joke?"

"What do you mean, 'you joke?'"

"…You know how to joke…?"

"Everyone knows how, Sasuke, what are you talking about?"

Sasuke just looked at him and nodded after a bit, getting off the chair and putting it back up.

Itachi breathed a sigh of relief.

"But what are we going to eat?" Sasuke asked, turning back to his brother.

"Don't worry, we wont starve. I'll…get us food." and with that Itachi left.

"Wait, you're leaving too?" Sasuke shrieked after him.

Sasuke leapt up from his chair as Itachi walked back in the door a few minutes later. "Where were you?" Sasuke asked. Confused, he studied his older brother. Itachi was soaked up to his knees, and he had the sleeve of his right arm rolled up, hand still dripping. In Itachi's left hand was an explanation. He was holding two live, squirming fish.

Itachi held them up, and let them drop to the table. The two fish flopped around on their stomachs. "It's sushi. Eat it." he told Sasuke simply.

Sasuke watched the fish flopping with wide eyes. "Um…Itachi, sushi is supposed to be dead." he said slowly.

In one swift motion Itachi pulled out his kunai and stabbed both fish. "Happy?"

Sasuke stared. "Not really." he answered in an off-handed voice.

"Well that's too bad." Itachi told him. "Eat it. That's all you're getting tonight." he turned to go to his room.

"Aren't you gonna eat it?"

Itachi turned his head and glanced back at Sasuke. "Are you kidding? I wouldn't touch that stuff."

Sasuke just looked at him.

"Fine. We'll do something else for dinner."

"Nii-san we HAVE food."

"Oh." Itachi replied blankly. "So what's the problem?"

"We have to MAKE it. You know, cook the food."

"Cooking can't be that hard." Itachi reasoned. "We just have to follow the directions on the boxes. Come on Sasuke." and he headed for the kitchen.

Sasuke shrugged, and followed.

A bit later he was choking on smoke. "There's no way that's edible." Sasuke said as Itachi pulled some sort of blackened food from the oven.

"I have some money… You got any?" Itachi asked him.

"A little left over from my birthday… why?"

"Get your money, we're eating out." Itachi decided.

The next few days passed rather uneventfully, except for the minor scene as the two Uchiha's went to for breakfast on the third day. Two girls had seen them and one waved as the other giggled. "Hi Itachi!" the one waving had called as the second giggled even more. Itachi had grabbed his younger brother buy the back of his shirt, urging him forward. "Walk fast Sasuke and don't make eye contact." Itachi instructed.

Sasuke couldn't help but notice when Itachi mysteriously left while Sasuke finished his ramen, nor could he help but notice the two girls were never seen again…

Other than that, nothing much had happened until the seventh day. Sasuke had gone a week being good for his brother, but he was still only a kid. He couldn't stay in the house, except going out for meals, doing nothing but studying different ninja arts forever. On the seventh day he couldn't take it anymore.

"Itachi." the young boy called as he knocked.

Itachi, deep in his ninja studies, didn't bother opening the door, "What?" he called back.

"Nii-san I'm bored…"

"Find something to do, I'm busy." Itachi said in a final tone.

Sasuke sighed.

Later Itachi emerged from his room. "Lunch time Sasuke. C'mon." he called loudly. After waiting a bit he called his brother again. "I'll leave without you! …Sasuke?" Still there was no response. Itachi walked down the hall. He then entered the kitchen, seeing a note on the table.

**Itachi,**

**I went to the Happy Kunai. Be back later.**

**Sasuke**

Itachi slammed his fist on the table. "…I'll kill him…" he muttered under his breath. (A/N: Two words…anger issues. Happy Kunai equals a place like Fun4all. But I'm not allowed to call it Fun4all. -nod nod-) Now what was he going to do? His little brother was off by himself in some weird kid's play place with no telling when he'd be back. "Sasuke…" Itachi growled as he walked out the door.

Itachi now found himself before the entrance to the Happy Kunai. He gazed up at the sign in front of the door. This would severely ruin his reputation. He swore on the spot he'd get Sasuke back for this. Oh yes. He'd get Sasuke back…with interest.

Closing his eyes briefly, Itachi pushed the door open. "Hello, welcome to the Happy Kunai." the girl working there said with a fake smile.

"I need to get in." Itachi informed her.

"That will be--"

Itachi shoved some money towards her and pushed his way through. "SASUKE!" he called.

The elder Uchiha sighed, infuriated, as he degraded himself to climbing into the jungle gym on his knee's. "Sasuke!" he continued yelling.

Itachi had grown very exasperated. He had climbed through many things little kids found fun, but needless to say, Itachi did not. "Sasuke!"

A young child who looked about Sasuke's age old toddled over. "Hey. Why are you calling me? You're not my mom." the kid said simply, looking up at Itachi.

Itachi stared.

"You're not even a girl. …Are you?"

"No! Oh forget it…" Itachi said angrily, walking away.

This was getting him no where. Sasuke was moving around, playing. If Itachi was moving too it could be hours before they meet up. Itachi needed to find a good spot and stay there. So, Itachi choose the place no little kid could resist: the ball pit.

The elder Uchiha advanced to the ball pit and sat down.

A young girl in the ball pit gave him a smile and playfully through a yellow ball at the new stranger in the ball pit.

Itachi's eyes narrowed as the ball hit his arm and bounced off. Snatching the yellow ball, he threw it back fast and hard, whizzing only centimeters from the girl's head. It was a warning. Had he wanted it to hit his target, it would have.

The child however took it as he excepted her challenged. She giggled with glee and gathered a bunch of balls in her arms, throwing them up into the air.

Itachi closed his eyes as balls lightly fell down on him like rain.

"That does it." Itachi muttered, throwing a ball at the girl, hitting her but throwing the ball much more gently than the last time.

Before Itachi knew what was happening all the other little kids joined in. Itachi found himself battling what felt like hundreds of children. They may be little, but he was surrounded by enemies with no allies.

_I forgot how violent little kids are! They aim for the face!_ Itachi thought to himself as he whirled balls in in every direction.

It was then Sasuke made his way merrily into the ball pit. He froze on the spot when he saw his older brother. He turned quickly and ran from the ball pit.

"No you don't!" Itachi yelled after him. He shoved his way out of the ball pit but he was too late.

Sasuke was gone.

After a while, Itachi was back to wandering around calling Sasuke's name, when he felt a small tug. It was another young girl (not the one from the ball pit.)

She gazed up at him. "You're looking for Sasuke, Mister?"

"Yea."

"I can take you to him." she said simply. "He looks kind of like you, but this height?" she gestured.

Itachi nodded. "That's him."

"Come on." she said, leading Itachi away.

Sasuke had snuck in to a birthday party, though he didn't know the birthday boy. The two, however, appeared to be becoming fast friends. "Itachi!" Sasuke said in alarm.

"You know him?" the birthday boy asked Sasuke.

"He's an evil dentist! He pulls out your teeth so he can use them in experiments! And he doesn't use Novocain! " Sasuke shouted, diving under the table.

A babble broke out after Sasuke's dramatic accusation.

"I'm not a dentist I'm his brother." Itachi said, aggravated.

The adults reasoned Itachi was too young to be a dentist so the allowed him to wrestle his younger brother from under the table and drag him out.

"Itachi I wanna playyy." Sasuke whined.

"We're going home." Itachi said flatly.

Sasuke glowered, stiffening his body entirely so he'd be very hard to move.

Itachi didn't care. He lugged his motionless little brother all the way home.

After that Itachi knew to keep a much more watchful eye on Sasuke. He did a good job of that, and everything was fine until moments before their parents returned.

"Nii-san will you play with me?"

"Not right now." Itachi responded simply.

Sasuke pouted. "Okay…"

He trotted into his room, sitting on his bed. Sasuke heaved a sigh, looking around for something to do. Then he was struck with sudden inspiration. He'd practice the fireball jutsu! Instantly he began, however, it only lead to…

"Itachi?" Sasuke asked in a super soft way, that mixture of guilt and anxiety only little kids had the capability to execute with such honest innocence.

Itachi looked up, knowing to be alert. "Yes?"

"My room's on fire."

"What?!" Itachi rushed into the kitchen, closely followed by Sasuke. He hurriedly filled up a pot with water. Sasuke had the sense to do the same.

Their parents arrived home to find their house burnt to the ground.

Itachi gazed at his parents blankly. Wordlessly, he dumped his pot of water over Sasuke's head, as a strand of Sasuke's ebony hair had caught on fire.

Sasuke gave a weak smile, water dripping down his face. "Welcome back?"


End file.
